happy birthday dear..

chloe my friend..

chloe n i are both potter mates, we talk so much about harry potter that we can start a forum on it..in fact, there are so many bizarre ideas, comments that we shared about the story which makes often burst into laughter as how silly and creative we can be.. :)

with chloe, i can almost talk anything to her, we can talk about studies, work, religion, friends, secondary wonderful stuff and etc etc etc..

it was really wonderful talking to her cox she will always give you reaction no matter what you said..i mean come on, how many people will start laughing from the moment you meet til the end ?! hahahahaha not only that where do you find people who will 'shoot' you with questionssss every two seconds of the conversation?! she wanted explanations from you in order to convince her to agree to what you had said..now, that sure brush up my persuasive skills hehehe at the same time, she makes me to think deeply and more about that particular issue..

but the ultimate bonus would most probably be her "ter-shocked" face hahahahaha when she's impressed/shocked/surprised, her facial expression of gasping- for-air is enough to tell you yes she is ter-shocked...

on the outside she looked quiet and shy but once you get to know here you know she can be very fun to be with...very much like all my "shy n quiet" friends...these group of people could give you a heart attack when they start shooting you back..

And it is so embarrassing today (29/10/06) when i called her up to tell her bout the last book of harry potter (HP n the half-blood prince) that i had jus finished, yea i know i am slow, but i can't wait to tell and talk about wit her that i had totally forgotten about her bday today!! man, it was sooooo embarrassing..i mean i dun mean to forget but i jus forget...sorry girl, dun mean it..really... i hope this compensate ya hehehe happy birthday!! may all yr dreams comes true and may everything goes smooth on 1/11 k.. ;)



p/s: btw, i had replied every single lovely person who left their comments on the precious posts...thank you again..

i am ok..

My dearest dad, mum and barry bro..

Thank you for listening to my problems and sharing them with me..
Thank you for being patient and supportive to everything that I do..
Thank you for the endless calls and words all the way and thank you for letting me know that you all care so much for me..knowing that i can always go home to you all..
Thank you so much for everything..
but Sorry for all the worries that I caused..

My dearest bro, Jerry

Thank you for the advice and words. It really did help me in thinking not only about the problem but seeing through the problem as well. Frankly speaking, never has it came across my mind to call u up and seek for your advice, maybe I was too lost not knowing what is happening as well..but after your call, I realized that I can always look for you for advice as like you say “I am ‘free’ (both free from time and money constraint hehehe) to call”..Thanks bro, thanks for taking time to talk to me..and same goes to you too, if ever u need me, I'l be there though I might not b able to help to solve yr prob, but I can cheer u up and share yr problem.. always :)thanks bro..thank you..

My dearest ping,

Thank you dear for being there for me..i know that you are not someone with a lot of words but thank you for making every effort to cheer me up and solving my problem..thanks for talking to me and letting me talk, whine n cry..thanks for always being there by my side and by the phone 24/7..thank you ;)

My dearest buddies-buddies, sista sista, heng tai heng tai and lou yau lou yau sekalian..

Your comments, calls, sms and emails really touched my heart..so glad and thankful to know that there's so many of you who cares..to the girls, your comments are like as though we are talking from heart to heart, face to face..i can actually felt your present and I know you all wanna encourage me n cheer me up..thank you girls..am grateful..really…..to the guys, Den there's no other way but to say thank you, your comments always makes me laugh cox u r damn crazy la..kekeke but really, thanks man..you have my full blessing to be wit SA kakakakak and to Jason; thanks for your advices man, though we do not really know each other but thank you for reaching out..thank you, appreciate..we should meetone day la :)

You know everytime when I am down,I realized that there are a lot of ppl who really care for me.. I feel really thankful and grateful to have my family and you different bunch of crazy ppl out there supporting and caring for me.. Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.. Do know that I will always b there for you all just like how u guys were there for me always..

Will reply yr comments one by one ya..really bz these days..will find some time to meet each n everyone of you..thank you to everyone, jus wanna let you all know that I am ok, no worry k.. will be the crazy girl that you all know very soon..

not forgetting a person that i really need to thank.. thank you, sir..

*Prayer* Thank God for so many wonderful Angels around..May God bless these sweet angels..

Jus to let you guys know that i am ok..


now you see..


now you dun.. hehehe

till then..shall blog again asap k~~ take care everybody..

..

Dear rachel:

Girl, appreciate wat u r telling me..seriously without u ppl always there encouraging n supporting, it will be difficult..with you ppl around, i always believe nothing matters cox we have each other supporting one another during every meeting..

these days been realli complicated..i prepare myself for the real world but again i can't help thinking am i that weak? i hope i am not...knowing wat v have all gone through.. girl, i admire your courage and strenght..

when i get your call today, can't help feeling blessed to have you bunch reaching out to held me from falling.. thank you girls n guy (chu, one n only male with us)..thank you all for being there to support..am looking forward to c u ppl..

cyen drop me a msg too..both your msgs brought me to tears..thank you..

Dear bro;

i hope i did not disgrace the family as i had tried my best..i know i did..at times i feel like explaining because i hate the idea of ppl thinking that i am weak..i know i am not...i really did tried my best..

"Don’t forget, you are the only person who can decide…
What you want to be,
What you want to see,
What you want to hear,
What you want to learn,
What mood you want to have in each day."

i am always a happy girl because i choose to do what u say above, but God knows how far have i walked... how much have i done.. but guess it is not easy to learn how to to wear a mask when your heart is crying deep down inside..

it is really hard for me to make a decision, i dun wanna call it a quit, i wanna fight it through but knowing there's no point fighting..there's no point going to a dead end...never have it came across my mind that it came so early..never, i don't wat it to be..therefore, i am still thinking..but i am unhappy..

i've lost myself recently..i don't know should i be myself or should i learn to be someone else knowing this is how the real world is....

Thank you bro for the wording but again i hope i did not disgrace the family and did not disgrace you as your sister..i don't wan to disgrace the family..i don't want to.. please tell me what must i do?

Dear Jason;

Guess i learn everything, but i never manage to learn how to wear a mask..after this, will i wear a mask? i'm afraid that i will change, i don't like the one that i have to change to be..

bein g me..

my frens told me..i am a true fren, fren that they can always count..frens who will always be there..

they says when i am around, i bring happinss to them..

my lecturer told me, i am mature..i know how to think ..

artistes who know me as a normal working girl and one who refer me as her friend said i am an intellegent girl with a broad mind, one who see things that others don't see..to them, they see a bright future ahead of me..

i told my family, don't worry i know how to think...you can always have faith in me..

from them, i really thought i know how to carry myself

i thought i know who i am and who i wanna be..



but today, i lost the energy to walk, never once walking no longer helps..

i failed badly just because i choose to be who i am as wat i am to everybody..

i realised then, in working world, if you are not selfish enough, not cunning enough to get what you wan, not good enough to please even those who you hated, you can never survive ..

i can think, i can feel, i can see, i'm not stupid but i failed to safe myself just by being me..

i pray hard that i will not change..i dun wan to change to be someone that i am not..

being me earns me nothing...

or perhaps it is time to change?


p/s: there's so much to blog about but i really dun have the time..i miss my family and frens..
all the gals out there, u know who u r...pls, we must meet one day k~