i don't know why..am worry, nervous, lost at the same time...the chest feels tight and heavy...as though the heart has been tied tightly with chains of metal..maybe because of the fear of moving into another phase of life..
i have no doubt towards myself for i know i will always do my best..i have no fear mixing with people..i have the desire to learn and work step by step...yet, things doesn't seems right..perhaps, i'm afraid to let my family down..they pressured me NOT...I DID infact..I set a certain expectations towards myself, i shall make them proud...alright at least not to dissapoint them...my parents gave me everything...love, supports...everything..
elder bro called last night, am so glad to hear his voice...he shared some advices which i truly value. indeed bro, reality can be harsh and cruel too..sometimes i wonder how can you pull through everything especially when you are alone..who is there to share tips and guide you as how you guide me now? even with your help, i am still feeling lost and so on..
comparing myself to those who has no one to be there for them, those who has to work everything by themselves and those who carry every pieces of burden on their shoulders..i'm very lucky....
don't know why, i feet un at ease at this moment, i believe they feel even worst than i am....
frankly i'm not sure wat am i babbling about, i'm totally mixed up inside...i predict there shall be more posts as such within these few days..
p/s: i woke up early today despite the heavy rain outside..it was not because i had enough of sleep but it is because of the uneasy feeling inside that woke me up..this is no good..
Thursday, May 18, 2006
don't worry, it's nothing but words from the heart..
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lang pi lang, pi si lang ar... i dunno how serious r u now.. alwiz mou leng cheng keng... nonit compare urself to others lar...
ReplyDeleteu'll stress urself, best way haf a big cup of vodka neat.. kau kau chi liap dun lo kee... then u'll nv want to compare tis & tat liao eh...
Well, lowering down your expectations is a good thing. Don't pressure yourself too much. :)
ReplyDeletekia soo lang, h&e: hahaha if u r kean aik this time..then this is better than yr beh sai ka llu kong nick..but again,i dun think ur kean aik..hehehe aiseh din know i look mou leng chen keng hehehe but after work..i believe i'l b diff..thanks man fr dropping by, this sat v go kau kau k!! either u lum or i lum kakakak
ReplyDeletejason: thank man, hey come to think of it u always leave very encouraging msg...thanks man!!i will kambadeh
no worries, girl. you are not alone.:) each and eveyone of us are the same. *sigh.. really stressed up.hai.. all the best to u . u were called for interviews for many time sler, me ler? once once fron jobstreet! Gosh! nothing lah. u will be fine. let's pray that we get the jobs and then move out together! yeah! see you!
ReplyDeletemyles:guess worries is part of the process,can't b avoided..u know wat, sometimes ranting is good kaka at elast it taeks out what i have in my heart n mind..rite?? hehehe hopefully we can stay together la!good luck!!!
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