wat am i doing?

I wanna do so so many things..
I wanna..

Go for an oversea trip even if it is only to Sarawak-afterall it is over-the-sea
Search for scholarship, I am having this thought to continue my studies
Go bk hometown for few days
Chase all d convo pictures
Meet up with some frens
Learn how to “ta pan”
Save some money
Lose weight
etc

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Life is kinda weird these two days, as if I dunno wat am I doing and what I wan for my future..Moreover, there seems to be no plan when in fact I SHOULD have a certain plan/ goal.. I can't live my life not knowing wat to do..but again, is it because that now I have yet to have my own saving,I dun have enough work experiences thus it is like I'm stucked half way..am I the only one who feels so?

Even when I feel like posting something,I yet to know what I wanna post and what I am posting now as well…see I'm mumbling le~ I do thought of posting some convo pics but at the moment I am still trying to get the the pics. So it was like hanging in the air again..

Next, I seems to grow lazier these days, I do not do things until the very last minute resulting me to forget this and that, man this is bad. Really really bad..
I feel kinda lost..lost cox I dunno where am I heading, what I wan in my life and why am I so lazy to go after what I wan-or do I know what I wan? Damn, this is complicated!

At times when I'm feeling down, I will cry, I will write, I will walk… I like taking long distance walk. It helps me to release and overcome the agony, frustration, disappointment (though this is the toughest) n stress...but this time, I have yet to reach the stage where I need to take a walk, yet I am not calm and peace enough to live through my days *sigh*

but am counting blessings as well, perhaps it is because I do count the blessings, thus even when I feel lost, I am not that lost yet, err…u know what I mean? Nevertheless, I'm alrite, jus feeling kinda lost..perhaps it is because of the monthly agony..u know..hehehe man I think I'm going nuts...

Thought of writing poem but poem with feeling is like living without soul~

P/s: shall post more pics on the next post.